Boyfriends Don't Like Boyfriends
by TheGreatCheese
Summary: bad title, oh well. Hojo vs. Inuyasha! My sister wants me to call Hojo 'Densey' for some obvious reasons.
1. Densey Comes Along for the Ride

ARG!!!!!!! I'm creating too many fanfics and leaving them unfinished!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Oh well.  
  
Just got inspired last nite in bed. I DESPISE HOJO but I enjoy putting him in to make Inuyasha jealous. (Muhahahahahaha!) In fact, my fanatical sister is urging me to call Hojo "Densey" for obvious reasons. She is currently holding a rather large mallet over my head and demanding I call him Densey for the remainder of the fic, but I shall kindly not oblige. *Gets whacked by angry sibling with portable mallet* x_x  
  
Hope u like it! - TheGreatCheese  
  
Boyfriends Don't Like Boyfriends (bad title I kno but I'm stuck!!!)  
  
"KYAA! I'M LATE!!!!!" Kagome shrieked as she sprinted down the street to her school. She had returned from the Sengoku Jidai this morning, and, thanks to Inuyasha, she was LATE! *I'm gonna sit you a hundred times for this Inuyasha!* she vowed.  
  
She ran into the courtyard in front of the school and jogged up the steps. Just before the bell rang, she (luckily) made it into algebra.  
  
*Whew! Close one!* she thought, and thanked Kami-sama.  
  
As class droned on and on and on (as algebra classes do), she felt her thoughts wandering to Inuyasha, Shippo, Inuyasha, the Shikon no Tama, Inuyasha, and Inuyasha.  
  
*Man! He's taking over my head!* she thought nervously. She hoped Mrs. Sakura didn't call on her, or she'd probably say the answer to 1y + k = me and Inuyasha.  
  
Thankfully the bell rang, and she was bombarded with questions from her friends.  
  
"Kagome, you recovered from your hepatitis!"  
  
"What did you do to break your collarbone?"  
  
"Oh! Hojo-kun's coming over here!" (Densey)  
  
Hoj - I mean, DENSEY - was indeed coming over to her. "Kagome-sama! Do you want to go to a movie on Sunday?"  
  
"Uhh.....well, Hojo, I dunno, I might have some - err - plans that day." she said, thinking about when Inuyasha would come. *Probably on Saturday, and I won't return until at least Wednesday.* "Sorry, Hojo-kun!" She went with him and her friends to her next class - history, her best subject. (Hmmm, wonder why?)  
  
IN THE FUEDAL ERA  
  
"Inuyasha! Go get Kagome!" Shippo yelled while pulling the sleeping hanyou's hair relentlessly. "Kaede says she needs her."  
  
"NANI????? I can't just go into her time! She'd sit me until I broke my back! What's so important anyway?"  
  
"Kaede-sama said she has sensed a huge piece of the Shikon no Tama coming this way, and she needs Kagome to find the shards." Miroku supplied while doing his usual business with Sango.  
  
"HENTAI!!!!!!!!" *slap*  
  
"Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch."  
  
Inuyasha grumbled, reluctant. "Can't one of you go? One who doesn't go 'splat' every time someone says a particular word?"  
  
They pushed him into the well. "HEYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!"  
  
He fell through the time portal and found himself in Kagome's time. "Why do I always have to go?????" He picked up Kagome's scent from the well house and followed it to her school.  
  
SCHOOL  
  
As Kagome, her friends, and DENSEY went into the next class, Inuyasha had made his way into the school through the front door. "Feh. All these scents are upsetting my poor nose."  
  
He eventually picked up her scent, but not before a (literally) cavalry of girls saw him.  
  
"God, he's HOT!"  
  
"Are those ears real? Can I touch them?"  
  
"What cool clothes!"  
  
"He's so KAWAII!!!"  
  
Inuyasha finally had to shake them off by using his speed. *You'd think they'd never seen a demon before!*  
  
He traced her scent to the history classroom and opened the door.  
  
  
  
Kagome gazed at the teacher, bored out of her wits. Sure, history was exciting if you'd actually gone through it while it happened, but ths teacher made it exceedingly dull. She was sure nothing exciting would or could happen in this class. She was wrong.  
  
"KAGOME!!!!" An angry-looking Inuyasha burst through the door. "We gotta go back!"  
  
The class was thrown into an uproar.  
  
"KYAA! INUYASHA, WHY THE HECK ARE YOU HERE?!?!?!"  
  
"Young man, you cannot just burst into a classroom! What is your name? You're getting a detention!"  
  
"Huh? What the h*ll is a detention?"  
  
"Kagome, is this that violent two-timing jerk you told us about?"  
  
"Oh, so I'm a violent two-timing jerk?" He crossed his arms.  
  
"Well, you ARE violent and you ARE two-timing and you can definitely be a jerk sometimes!"  
  
"Kagome, do you know him?" DENSEY asked. (dense, as usual)  
  
"Whatever. Kagome, we NEED to go!" Inuyasha grabbed her arm and started to pull.  
  
"Oh fine! But can we go quietly???"  
  
"Higurashi Kagome, you cannot just leave!" the teacher yelled hysterically.  
  
"Yes she can, woman!" Inuyasha yelled back. "Let's go."  
  
Kagome grumbled as she walked to the door.  
  
"We can't go that way! It's too slow!"  
  
"Oh really, Inuyasha? Then how do we get out?"  
  
"Like this." He grabbed her waist and jumped out the window, bound for the Higurashi Shrine.  
  
All the girls screamed, the teacher fainted, the boys yelled, and Ho - DENSEY walked to where Kagome and Inuyasha had left. "KAGOME!!!"  
  
Kagome was also yelling at Inuyasha. "Great, now you did it! Now the whole school will think I was kidnapped by a long-haired maniac with doggy ears! SIT!"  
  
He plummeted to the ground, face-first as usual. "WENCH! WHAT'D YOU DO THAT FOR?!?!?! Kaede wanted to see you, so they pushed me into the well even though I didn't want to!"  
  
"Oh fine. Since I already left school, let's go." She climbed onto his back, and off they went. They didn't notice a school-uniformed guy chase after them.  
  
"Kagome!! I'll save you!" DENSEY called worriedly. When he didn't see her, he went to her house. *Might as well tell her mother the news.*  
  
When he got to her house, he saw no one in her house, so he searched the other buildings until he saw the well house and searched in there.  
  
"Kagome!!!!!!!" He called to her turned back as she prepared to jump into the well. "I'll save you!"  
  
Kagome turned at his voice. "Hojo-kun? What are you - " She jumped in, probably because Inuyasha pushed her in. The he, in turn, jumped in.  
  
"KAGOME!" Hojo, also jumped in, and managed to grab onto Inuyasha's foot as the trio were hurtled into the past.  
  
  
  
Not bad 4 the first chapter, no? CYA! 


	2. Jealous Inuyasha!

THANKIES TO ALL OF U REVIEWERS!!!!!  
  
This fanfic was made possible by the support of the following:  
  
Kleptomaniac sam  
  
Yunaleska  
  
ArtemisMoon  
  
Bubbles1612  
  
Roganu-chan  
  
Doom-warning  
  
And ME!!!!!!!  
  
Oh yeah, and my sister who thot up DENSEY  
  
CHAPTER 2!!!!!!! (dun dun dun!)  
  
Remember, Hojo/Densey grabbed onto Inuyasha's foot as they went to the Sengoku Jidai  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" DENSEY screamed in a very high-pitched voice when they arrived at the other side of the well.  
  
When both Kagome and Inuyasha had gotten out of the well, he covered his extremely sensitive ears. "Oi, Kagome, do you know that human down there? He's got very good vocal cords."  
  
Kagome looked down and shrieked. "AH! HOJO, WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING HERE!?!?!?!?!?"  
  
Inuyasha looked at her. "Why? Who is he? Is he that Hobo boy I've heard you talking about?" He flexed his claws happily. "I do hope so."  
  
Kagome shuddered as she saw his claws. "Uh....well..."  
  
Hojo slowly climbed out of the well. "Kagome-chan!" He ran to her and grabbed her arm. "I've come to save you!"  
  
She didn't move.  
  
Inuyasha decided to verify his unanswered question. "Is your name Hobo?" he said in his dangerously calm voice.  
  
Densey, too dense to notice the strange guy's *evil* tone of voice, said, "No, my name is Hojo."  
  
Obviously Densey didn't value his life much.  
  
"Ah. I see...."  
  
Kagome decided that she'd rather have a live, confused boyfriend than a dead, mangled body to drag home with her and started to run towards the village. "RUN, HOJO!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Hey! Kagome! Who's side are you on??" Inuyasha asked before giving chase.  
  
Luckily, Hojo, besides being cute, popular, and downright stupid, was a very good runner, and they had a head start. So they made it to the village before becoming murdered by Inuyasha's jealous aura of doom.  
  
(Besides, the Authoress wants Hojo alive to make Inuyasha jealous. Muhahaha.)  
  
Kagome and Hojo stumbled into Kaede's hut, both clutching their sides. Sango, Miroku, and Shippo were both fascinated with the oddly-clothed newcomer and the ball of flame with white doggy ears that followed them into the hut.  
  
"Oh my! I wonder what that is?" Sango asked aloud.  
  
"It's Inuyasha, of course. But I wonder why all I can see of him is his doggy ears; his heated aura makes it difficult to see." Miroku answered.  
  
"Are you Kagome's boyfriend?" Shippo asked Hojo curiously.  
  
"Yes." BIG mistake. Probably the biggest one in Densey's young life, other than getting involved with Kagome.  
  
"How odd! Now his ears have disappeared, I can't even see him, there's so much fire." Miroku stated.  
  
"He must be very angry." Shippo said. Then he looked at Hojo. A plan started to form in his mind about what might be going on.  
  
"Inuyasha, are you....jealous?" Shippo asked, evil smile and all.  
  
Hojo should have started to worry about his personal health right about now if he hadn't already, but he didn't, due to his small brain capacity.  
  
The ball of flame started to speak. "Kagome, may I see you outside for a moment?" It was more of a command than a question.  
  
"Yes, your Majesty." Kagome replied meekly. She stepped outside of the hut.  
  
The flame-ball turned to her rather unfortunate boyfriend. "I'll see you after her."  
  
Kagome was reminded of a mean principal she had known who spoke in that tone of voice. Then Inuyasha/flame-ball came out to her. He turned back to the normal hanyou we all know and (maybe) love.  
  
"Look, he's not really my boyfriend, he just thinks he is." she tried to explain.  
  
"Uh huh."  
  
"He's an idiot."  
  
"I know."  
  
"Kagome?" Densey came out of the hut. Big mistake #3.  
  
"HOJO! WHAT DO YOU WANT????" Kagome exploded. He could be so annoying sometimes.  
  
Inuyasha bristled as the explosion reached his poor abused ears. He was starting to believe her. *Actually, why not believe her?* he asked himself. *I could have fun with him, if he's really her boyfriend.* He smiled evilly.  
  
Kagome, as many people know, had some telepathic powers. Seeing Inuyasha smile, she got an equation:  
  
Inuyasha + evil smile + Hojo = dead Hojo.  
  
*Oh gods.* she mentally freaked out. She didn't care about Hojo, but if she had to drag his dead body back home and explain, her mother would probably close the well up, saying it was too dangerous.  
  
"Inuyasha." she said softly. "Don't kill Hojo."  
  
"Who said anything about killing?" he asked, with that evil smile still plastered onto his face. "I'm gonna enjoy this immensely."  
  
"Well...okay. As long as you don't kill him. And no Tetsusaiga." She warned.  
  
"Yay." Inuyasha cracked his knuckles and claws, then took a step closer to the clueless Densey.  
  
Meanwhile, Miroku, Sango, and Shippo all decided to come out and watch Inuyasha butcher Kagome's so-called boyfriend. Shippo pulled an immense lollipop out of author-space (where all things can be found and taken), Miroku a gigantum tub of popcorn, and Sango a Coke bottle and a huge portable mallet.  
  
"What's the mallet for?" Shippo asked innocently.  
  
"Need I explain?" Sango said while giving a 'touch-me-and-you-die-long-and- painfully-without-having-someone-bear-your-child-and-you-won't-know-what- happens-to-Kagome's-so-called-boyfriend' look. Miroku got the gist, but he, of course, listened to his inner instincts.  
  
"HENTAI!!!!!!!!!!!" Sango bopped him with the mallet, then used it as a croquet mallet, using the hentai as a ball.  
  
"Look, up in the sky!" a villager called.  
  
"It's a bird!" another anonymous person yelled.  
  
"It's a plane!" Hojo screamed.  
  
"Planes aren't invented yet, duh." Kagome said, sweatdropping.  
  
"Well, it's something synthetically similar to a plane." Shippo said.  
  
"No, it's just a hentai." Sango told everyone. "On with the entertainment - I mean battle." she said, as if nothing had ever happened.  
  
Shippo pulled a miniature mike out of author space and started to scream into it. "Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, humans and youkai. Today, we bring you this very special event: Hojo vs. Inuyasha!"  
  
  
  
  
  
DUN DUN DUN!!!!!!!!!!!! Hehehehehe! Muhahahaha! Maybe this will turn into a humor fic! CYA! 


	3. The Battle, The Hug, And The Large Infla...

WE HAV A SNOW DAY 2DAY SO I'M GONNA UPDATE ALL MY FICS!!!!!!!!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, I wish I did but I don't.  
  
Chapter 3!!!! YAY!  
  
Retake: Hojo vs. Inuyasha!  
  
Inuyasha held up his hand to the amazed crowd of humans and Shippou. "Before I begin messing up this bastard's looks," he said, as if stating the obvious. "I think he might have a few last words."  
  
Kagome shot him the Glare Of Death and Destruction and Doom. Inuyasha sweatdropped. "Okay, okay! Fine!"  
  
He turned towards the scared-out-of-the-few-wits-he-has Densey.  
  
"Bring it on." he cackled. Densey suddenly realized that maybe he SHOULD have a few last words.  
  
"WAIT! I have a few last words!" Hojo called. "I'd like to say goodbye to everyone, and -"  
  
"HOJO!" Kagome yelled. "YOU'RE NOT GONNA DIE!"  
  
"Oh yeah. And Kagome, I love you." Hojo the Dense smiled.  
  
Had he not said this, Inuyasha might have had enough pity in his heart to let Hojo leave with only a few limbs broken. *But no one says that to MY Kagome and lives!*  
  
Kagome began to look very happy right about now. "Y-You do?"  
  
"Of course."  
  
"Hojo!" She started to run towards his arms. (Remember, the Authoress LOVES to make Inuyasha jealous. IY + KAG 4eva!)  
  
Inuyasha's head started to become rather large, inflated, jealous, and angry. "NANI???????????????????????????????????"  
  
She hugged Densey while he hugged her back. "No one's ever said that to me before." she told him.  
  
Meanwhile, Inuyasha's head was growing a size to rival the Goshinbuko. All the villagers gasped.  
  
"Wow! What a pretty shade of red!"  
  
"I didn't think heads could grow that big."  
  
Shippo was having the time of his life commenting on Inuyasha's large head. "Now everyone, if you look to the left of this bulbous item, you might be able to see a tiny - there! See that little white thing? That was Inuyasha's ear! Does anyone see the other one? There it is!"  
  
All the villagers ooed and ahhed.  
  
Miroku eventually came back down to earth, landing exactly in his gigantum tub of popcorn. "What'd I miss? OOH! Is that a youkai similar to Shippo's transformation?" he questioned Sango.  
  
"Nope. That's Inuyasha's head."  
  
"Oh."  
  
Kagome was still in Densey's arms. "Hojo." she said.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
She looked at him and said "I want you to know that -"  
  
Inuyasha's head exploded, and he was more angry than ever. Densey realized this and interrupted her. "I think you should go into the sidelines, Kagome." He pushed her onto the side, and faced Inuyasha.  
  
Kagome glared at Hojo. *Gods! I didn't get to tell him to go home! He's so stupid sometimes! Well, actually he's stupid all the time, so....*  
  
She sighed. *I hope Inuyasha doesn't annihilate him. It'll be hard to Explain to Hojo's parents that their son was killed by a jealous half-demon that's 400 years old. Besides, I love Inuyasha. Wait! Where did THAT come from???* (A/N Oh come on, Kagome, it's true and you know it!)  
  
Inuyasha leaped towards Densey. "BASTARD! YOU DARE...."  
  
Densey tried to run out of the way, but it didn't work, and he ended up being thrown back 500 yards. (Ouch)  
  
Inuyasha landed on the ground. "That wasn't too hard."  
  
  
  
This is an Inuyasha/Kagome fic, duh. CYA PPLS! 


End file.
